For the Love…

Hello again. It’s been a minute since I’ve shared much here. I think that’s going to change, and I think the blog is going to change, too.

Life has not gone the way I planned since my last post. As a result, the things that I care about have changed, too.

Things have changed here

My last post was in October of 2016. I was working in my dream job promoting local food, had just finished a huge kitchen renovation, and was 7 months pregnant with my second son. Life was busy, but life was pretty good. Then everything came crashing down. On December 12th, 2016, my husband and I arrived at the hospital for a scheduled c-section to deliver our new baby only to be told that there was no heartbeat. Our beloved Andrew was stillborn. We never discovered any reason for his death. He was perfect. His pregnancy was pretty textbook. We were completely blindsided and completely destroyed.

Our 2-year-old son was LITERALLY the only reason we got out of bed for the first few weeks.

Since then, our family has ridden a roller coaster of grief. Our priorities have changed and clarified. Our world feels a little smaller, we feel much older, and we hold those we love much tighter. We are different people now.

Five months after our loss we found out we were pregnant again! For the following 38 weeks I was a nutcase. My stress snowballed as my c-section date grew closer. The night before the c-section I couldn’t sleep as baby gratefully kept kicking me.

The next morning our prayers were answered and we welcomed our baby girl into the world! Now we take on the next challenge of raising two children on earth while honoring our son in heaven.

So what does that mean for this space? Well, I still like food. 🙂  But I’m also re-examining so many other aspects of my life. So many things are harder now, and I’m needing to relearn how to manage life. This space will reflect all of this. Not everything will be about food. Not everything will be about loss. It will always be about something I love. And like my life, it won’t be picture perfect. But it will be real.


3 comments on “For the Love…”
  1. Rina says:

    Marian – this is so cooL! I just came back to your webseite to look up one of your recipes that I love and I find a new post by you! I will follow your thoughts with care and fondness. love to you! Rina

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