How I Survived Pregnancy After Loss

This is a page to keep all the resources that comforted me during my pregnancy after the stillbirth of my second son. Throughout the pregnancy, I would find websites through social media on my phone and keep them pulled up in my browser, ending up with dozens of open tabs. I have finally decided to collect them and put them in one place so that I can share them with others, or maybe reference them again.

How I survived

How I typically felt whenever I left my home:

(Let’s be honest, I still feel this way plenty of the time)

Monachopsis: lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.

 

Ah-ha!

This article made so much sense to me. I couldn’t understand why I felt so much slower and, quite frankly, dumber.

“The thing to remember is that physiologically, your body has experienced a trauma. Your brain is working hard to make sense of something that can’t ever make sense.”

Has Grief Made You Lose Your Mind?

 

Surviving pregnancy and grief through the holidays

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s…they are all huge triggers since they are all supposed to be spent with those you love most, and I can’t be with one of my loves.

Ways to Offer Comfort to a Bereaved Parent during the Holidays by the Maui Mama

10 Simple Reasons the Holidays Hurt

 

In preparation

This mama agrees with me that pregnancy after loss was the second hardest thing I have ever done. And even though bringing home a rainbow baby was the thing I wanted most, it was and still is more complicated.

14 Truths of Bringing Home a Rainbow Baby

 

The fog of motherhood

This impacts all moms, but the fog is especially thick these days.

The Fog

 

How to handle the PAL mom

If you know a PAL mom, you should read these things. And then say them to that mom.

10 Things No One Says to the Anxious Pregnancy After Loss Mom (But Probably Should)

This is an amazing list of ways to support anyone who’s grieving, especially a parent. Perhaps my favorite on this this is “get to know them.” I am a different person now, and figuring out who that is is hard for me, but our relationship might look different now.

How to Love Someone Who Is Grieving Their Child

“My grief is like the weather. Somedays it’s calm, quiet, maybe even a little sunny. Other days it’s a devastating storm that makes me feel angry, exhausted, raw, and empty.” Mother’s Day takes on a whole new, heavy feeling.

A Mother’s Chorus: Grieving a Child on Mother’s Day

 

How others manage

Other moms have taken to the internet to share their experiences.

Making Memories in The Chaos 

A Rainbow of Hope

Terrible, Thanks for Asking  Episode 24: Incompatible With Life

 

Resources

Hoping to write it out…

A Year of Journaling Through Grief: 52 Prompts for Bereaved Parents

Books that have helped others. My favorite that I have read so far is An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken

Books — The Long-Term Project

 

 

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